literature

Perpetuity

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Malintra-Shadowmoon's avatar
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Literature Text

Unlimited time -

Soul's dream of eternity:

Attain something new!
Haiku about the purpose of life and the experience of the soul.
© 2012 - 2024 Malintra-Shadowmoon
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mjponso's avatar
:star::star::star::star: Overall
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Vision
:star::star::star::star::star-empty: Originality
:star::star::star::star-half::star-empty: Technique
:star::star::star::star::star-half: Impact

(I'm from #TheCritiquables after seeing this in this month's "Unappreciated Works" journal)

Is the word "expert" meant to say "expect"? That would definitely make more sense, as ~shehrozeameen pointed out.

Anyhow, I think it's hard to write a lengthy critique on a haiku because of its brevity, but I'll say what I can. "Unlimited time" really is the shortest definition of eternity that I can think of, and it's the perfect thing to start the poem with. The fact that it says "soul's dream" seems to imply that it's something we hope for, rather than knowing with absolute certainty what it's like. This is also seen in the last line, "expect something new," though that can also be interpreted another way: that what we think eternity will be like, may be completely off.